


Initials

by aintbroken



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 19:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6127393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aintbroken/pseuds/aintbroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek left, and Stiles has to cope with that. And the beginning of Senior year…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Initials

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes. Betaed by my Partner In Crime @ridethatdemon ! 
> 
> OST : It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing - Shania Twain -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt_1CyxMVh0

 

 

_"Hope life's been good to you_   
_since you've been gone_   
_I'm doin' fine now -- I've finally moved on_   
_It's not so bad -- I'm not that sad”_

   Two months. He had spent two months plotting and trying to come up with a good enough plan for them to stick together after school. Two months of burying himself into this, thankfully it had kept him from thinking too much about the “other thing”. Senior year was starting the next day and Stiles was exhausted. He was so worried that everything would come to an end. In a few months, they were supposed to go to college and Stiles was fucking scared that it meant for them to go their separate ways. And he needed the pack to stay together. Yes, he knew, he wasn’t the Alpha, the scattering of the pack wouldn’t really affect him per say. But it would definitely end him. He couldn’t take losing someone else. It would already be hard enough to leave Liam behind. Yes, he said that… but only in his mind so…  
Stiles was once again going through his plan, talking to Scott, being his usual self. And Scott destroyed all this by saying that the past few months had been relatively quiet and there was a good chance for things not staying like that for long. But Scott didn’t really know that he had been dying inside all summer, missing Derek like crazy. Stiles sighed, looking over Beacon Hills. Where was he right now ? What was he doing ? Stiles grunted and shook his head. Nope, he wasn’t gonna go there again. He promised himself he wouldn’t. It hurt too much. Since Mexico, every time he closed his eyes, he saw him… Him dying, the wolf, their last eye contact just before he left, everything came back to him, every fucking minute of every fucking day. No matter what he did, no matter how much he tried, he was there. And Stiles was so tired of this shit, really, it was like being the Nogitsune all over again, not being able to control his own thoughts.  
So he focused back on Scott and Liam, currently tied to a tree. They had to get going if they wanted to be on time at Beacon Hills High’s library.

 

_“And it only hurts when I'm breathing_   
_My heart only breaks when it's beating_   
_My dreams only die when I'm dreaming_   
_So, I hold my breath -- to forget”_

   They dropped Liam at his place and got on the road under a massive thunderstorm. They were quiet. Stiles was lost in his thoughts. He needed to let this go. He needed to get over this and move on. It was stupid really, pinning over a guy when he had a girlfriend. But Derek was Derek and Malia was… well, Malia. Derek was the one who created awkward boners without having to touch him at the end. One glare was enough, Stiles’ overactive imagination did the rest. He was so far gone for the werewolf but he knew that it wouldn’t go anywhere. And he liked Malia a lot. She’s been good to him, it was just sometimes, he wished for things to be different, like snuggling into a broad chest, feeling stubble scraping his cheek just before a kiss. A car honked and Stiles jumped in his seat.  
\- You ok bro ?  
Stiles nodded.  
\- Yeah, sorry… Just, you know… Thoughts…  
Scott hummed. He looked like he wanted to say something and Stiles frowned.  
\- What ?  
\- Nothing… You’ve been edgy since…  
Stiles hold up his hand.  
\- Don’t… Don’t say it…  
\- Don’t say what ? That Derek left ?  
Stiles cringed, his hands tightened on the steering wheel and he groaned.  
\- Yes Scotty, that exactly.  
Scott sighed.  
\- I know you miss him. You two had the weirdest relationship, but I know how much you liked him. And he liked you too Stiles.  
Stiles felt tears coming and hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand.  
\- Can we not… Can we not talk about that ? Really… I’m ok. I just… We’re Seniors… In a few months, we’re going to go to college and what then ? Eh ? What will happen to the pack ?  
Scott shrugged.  
\- We’ll make it work. We always do.  
They fell silent for a while until Scott spoke again.  
\- I’m sorry he left. I’m sorry you feel sad because of that…  
Stiles nodded, not trusting his voice and gently bumped  Scott’s shoulder with his fist.

_“Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night_   
_There's no need to worry, I'm really all right_   
_I've never looked back -- as a matter of fact”_

   Finally, everyone was there. Scott had retrieved Kira, Malia was officially a Senior and Stiles was relieved and happy for her. Lydia arrived, annoyed at them for being late. They got to the library, the queue was long but quiet. Every student knew the meaning of writing on the shelves. Every new Senior did it, leaving their initials, one way of saying “I was there” or maybe “I made it to Senior year alive” in Beacon Hills, you never knew. He was excited and it was a little crazy, he knew that, but if they were going to be apart soon, at least they would have done this together. When his turn came, Stiles took the Sharpie and got ready to write “S.S.” no way he was going to sign with his real initials. His gaze fell on the “D.H.” on the other shelf. He smiled. He wrote his name and gave the marker to Lydia. He took a step back, his eyes still fixed on Derek’s initials. He had to let him go. Even if he was going to come back at some point, this wouldn’t go anywhere. Yes, he had an unrequited crush on the Greek God/werewolf who happened to be one of his best friends and he left. It wasn’t the end of the world. He survived a Kanima, a psychotic grand-pa and numerous other scary things, he could survive a bruised heart. He just hopped Derek was ok, he wished he had news. He wished he could just talk to him and tell him everything he wanted to. But it wouldn’t happen. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe at some point he would have gotten nuts and told him about his stupid feelings and he would have been turned down and it would have hurt and he would have been ever bitterer and… Lydia smiled at him and he smirked. Malia came next to him and he automatically put an arm around her shoulders. He would always love Derek, he knew that. But he had to learn to live with that and he will. And who knows, maybe their paths will meet again. Until then, he’ll be ok. As long as the rest of them stuck together, he’ll be fine.


End file.
